Adoption Update...What does that even mean anymore? I wish I had an awesome update for you but here we sit still waiting.
In my last post a month and a half ago you learned that there had been a big misunderstanding and that Mr Easton was actually NOT through the investigation process. I still can not publicly go into details here. Many of you who know us well, know the whole story of the mistake and how much of a roller coaster ride that was. Now we try to continue to move forward.
I can tell you that the embassy of Easton's birth country is still trying to unfold his past and discover his orphan status. After him being matched with us and waiting in foster care for a YEAR AND THREE MONTHS, in our minds he IS adoptable and is already our son in our hearts but the embassy wants more solid evidence of his orphan status. So we wait while they investigate. Insert gritting teeth and maybe a few curse words here . . . and then confession and learning even more surrender to God.
SURRENDER has become a big word in my head. Surrender, peace, trust, rest, and OBEDIENCE. I saw a saying on Facebook somewhere, I don't even remember where, but it's on the fridge now. "The victims of injustice don't need our spasms of passion, but our long obedience in one direction." That is exactly what this feels like. Long obedience. The Bible talks a lot about how if we love God then we will obey Him. We've decided that until God closes the door completely, then we continue to step forward in obedience. Sometimes that looks a lot like standing still. Sometimes that looks like insanity, but even in these uncertain times we are still actually moving forward. That moving forward may not be a trip to Africa just yet. Each day of waiting is another opportunity to surrender these adoptions to God. Another chance to move forward in our knowledge of who God is. It's another day to be reminded that mountains are moved at the time He tells them to move. They are not moved by our worry. There is much to be learned in waiting. Many times it may feel like a waste but I know it is not. I don't think we are not allowed to be frustrated in the wait. If it was easy then how would we ever learn to surrender? It's up to us to choose to not allow the frustrations form bitterness in our hearts.
As of right now we are hopeful. Many of you know that recently the country decided not to issue exit letters in order for kids to leave the country with their adopting parents. They have also released that IF you had a certain letter (we'll call it the B letter) before a certain date, that you would be eventually approved to exit the country with your adopted child. We have that letter!!! So we feel hopeful that once Easton's investigation is passed and he receives his visa then whenever we do travel that he will be able to come home with us... eventually. I will not stand solidly on that but it gives us hope! SO, if his investigation is finished soon then we COULD be leaving in the next few months.
We are still waiting on Miss Josephine's court documents. The last I heard they were only waiting for one piece of paper work. Then we wait for translations of those documents, then apply for her I600, then her investigation starts. And at this point we don't know how the country will deal with exit letters when she is passed through everything else and just waiting to come home.
Please pray we hear good news soon about Easton's investigation! Please pray that the country begins issuing more exit letters. There are lots of families there waiting to bring their kids home. Some who even had to return home without their children. Pray for Josephine's court documents to be finished up soon. Pray for the safety of our kids and that they stay healthy as they wait. Also please pray that God continues to provide the funds to keep this going. He's brought us so far! We just recently paid our last payment to our agency, however, there is still foster care cost for each month that our kids wait and we are running lower and lower every month. There will still be all the travel cost in the future as well. I am not worried because God has already showed us His provision and if He wants this to come to completion that He will continue on. We did recently send in an application for the Show Hope grant! Wowser that was a lot of work! It will be some time before we hear anything on that.
Thank you everyone for continuing to pray and support us. I'm sure it's difficult to continue to believe that anything will ever happen as you watch us wait and wait and wait. So those of you who continue to encourage us along the way, you are greatly appreciated and loved!
https://www.adopttogether.org/crawfords
Monday, November 4, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Adoption update
HUGE
misunderstandings on the adoption front but can't go into details.
Easton is actually not quite through investigation. Hopefully soon
though. Keep praying. I'm kinda falling apart at the seams at the
moment. Of to take a very needed nap.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Adoption Update
Okay...here we go.
I'm not a fan of asking for money but like I've said before adoption is God's idea and with that in mind I have to push aside my pride. So here ya go. If you are wanting to help us bring home our babies here is one way you can give a tax deducible donation!
I'm not a fan of asking for money but like I've said before adoption is God's idea and with that in mind I have to push aside my pride. So here ya go. If you are wanting to help us bring home our babies here is one way you can give a tax deducible donation!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Adoption update!!!
Hello everyone! I have awesome, awesome news to share!!!! Today we got news that we've been waiting for SIX months to hear! SIX MONTHS!
I called the embassy today and got word that Mr. Easton's investigation has passed!!! It looks like we may be traveling early November sometime!
It is hard to describe how this wait has impacted myself and the rest of my family. It may sound odd, but as horrible the waiting was for SOMETHING to happen, it has also been a very precious time of submission to God. There have been times when I've wanted to give up and I was sorely relying on God to comfort and inspire me into obedience.
Today I am tearful. Tears of relief for one. That we are through one of the biggest part of the waiting. Tears over a great God that knows the whole story. Tears also for what is ahead, because although we are through this one giant step, there are still steps ahead that are unknown. Once Mr. Easton's visa is issued we will travel two weeks later if all goes well. Right now, we don't have any idea how God is going to supply the money to travel there to bring him home. No idea at all! That is kinda . . . no, really scary but also pretty exciting! In the days and weeks to come I will share more specific prayer request and some practical needs as well. Keep praying!!!!
A fellow adopting momma, who is also still waiting to bring home her babies, shared this poem the other day. It has really touched my heart and I've read is several times I find myself in tears of joy over a God that desires to paint every detail of our lives. As the artist He knows His desire for the final work of art. The same God that holds massive stars in the sky also cares that we cling to Him for all our needs not because He thinks of us as so pathetic, but because He wants to us to know Him and all His glory and in turn we get to rejoice in the wonder of His perfect ways, not ours!
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, “Wait.”
“Wait? you say wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.
“My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.
“You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting for what?”
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
“I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
“You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
“You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
“The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.
“So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”
I called the embassy today and got word that Mr. Easton's investigation has passed!!! It looks like we may be traveling early November sometime!
It is hard to describe how this wait has impacted myself and the rest of my family. It may sound odd, but as horrible the waiting was for SOMETHING to happen, it has also been a very precious time of submission to God. There have been times when I've wanted to give up and I was sorely relying on God to comfort and inspire me into obedience.
Today I am tearful. Tears of relief for one. That we are through one of the biggest part of the waiting. Tears over a great God that knows the whole story. Tears also for what is ahead, because although we are through this one giant step, there are still steps ahead that are unknown. Once Mr. Easton's visa is issued we will travel two weeks later if all goes well. Right now, we don't have any idea how God is going to supply the money to travel there to bring him home. No idea at all! That is kinda . . . no, really scary but also pretty exciting! In the days and weeks to come I will share more specific prayer request and some practical needs as well. Keep praying!!!!
A fellow adopting momma, who is also still waiting to bring home her babies, shared this poem the other day. It has really touched my heart and I've read is several times I find myself in tears of joy over a God that desires to paint every detail of our lives. As the artist He knows His desire for the final work of art. The same God that holds massive stars in the sky also cares that we cling to Him for all our needs not because He thinks of us as so pathetic, but because He wants to us to know Him and all His glory and in turn we get to rejoice in the wonder of His perfect ways, not ours!
Wait
by Russell Kelfer
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;by Russell Kelfer
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, “Wait.”
“Wait? you say wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.
“My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign.
“You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking! I need a reply.”
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, “Wait.”
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting for what?”
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
“I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You’d have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.
“You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
“You’d never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
“The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
“You’d never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I’m doing in you.
“So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait.”
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Wrestling and Surrendering
From my daily devotional reading, Streams In The Desert. I've re-read this a ton this week. It's right on. Exactly how we feel nearing the end and not knowing how and when God will provide ALL of what is needed to bring our kids home.
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Adoption Update
For a long time now I've thought about doing an adoption update. Unfortunately this is still not a whole lot to update as far as moving forward. If you've been following our journey then you know that our son is stuck in a 3-6 month investigation along with every other orphan being adopted from the same country. This is good considering that the whole point of the investigation is to gain knowledge of true orphan status, however, it is extremely difficult for the adopting family and the child waiting to come home.
July marked one year that we've been matched with our son and one year that he's been with his foster family waiting to come home. An entire year with a son we've never met.
On the 15th of the this month we reach FIVE months into the investigation. FIVE months of trying to figure out if little Mr is a true orphan.
And all this time we've still been paying a foster care fee every month.
Today brings me to a breaking point. Earlier today I asked our agency for an estimate of future payments and travel cost. What I got in response was enough to put a giant rock in my throat and knots in my stomach. These last several months of everyday waking up to no email from the embassy was depressing enough. Today, I have been pushed over my edge and I feel like I'm hanging on to strands. I think I know that it was still going to take a giant chunk of funds to finish up getting Easton home but actually seeing the numbers totally floored me. THEN I multiplied that by two, cause we will have to travel twice. Once to get Easton and once to get baby Josephine. More specifics in a minute.
So I'll admit that I've spent much of these months secluding myself from others, especially my peers, feeling that no one understands or assuming that everyone is sick of listening to my adoption woes. (we're coming up on THREE years since we decided to adopt.) I'm realizing that these are most likely lies from Satan and my own prideful issues. I know that Satan would totally love it if I would continue in my seclusion and depression, leaving me paralysed and ineffective to the gospel. Though gardening is a good hobby to have, plants unfortunately can not hug me and speak words of encouragement to me. I wish. I would love to be hugged by a zucchini... especially if it was fried. SO today in the garden I talked a lot to my best friend. The only one who knows my heart even when I can't express it. I also sucked it up and called on the phone a friend while I was sitting there picking green beans. It's been a long time since I had done that.
Tonight I am pretty discouraged. I'm deeply concerned for our children on the other side of the world. Even though they have not been given to me to care for yet, they have still been given to my heart. And though worry is not right, I do worry for them because I'm a woman and a mom... and a sinful human. I know that God loves them more then I ever will and that's what leaves me so confused about this long waiting. I know that God in control is a good thing and yet I know that those babies need families. Our family.
Lots of my deep pain comes out in some good old ugly crying in the shower. Tonight was one of those nights. I found myself angry! Just pain angry. Angry that adoption cost so much. Angry with the waiting. Angry with the ease of abortion compared to the difficulty of adoption. I found myself being so bold as to say to God, "Just do SOMETHING. Either say yes and move mountains or say no and stop the agonizing waiting." This brings me to the torturous thoughts I've been having all week. Would God bring us all this way just to say no? Would He? I really want to say no, but I can not be so proud. He could. I don't foresee that and I don't want Him to say no, but reality is that He has the power too. I've experienced both, He both gives and takes away. Oh, please don't take this away. This has created a righteous fear of Him, but I keep praying for faith that He cares about every detail of our lives even within His great power.
I keep being more and more humbled beyond comfort with how little I have to do with His plans and yet I call all this "our" journey, "our" adoptions. The truth is, it's His idea. His plans. It's His that He only invites us to be used as His instruments. Now more then ever as I wait and wait and wait, I'm seeing that it's not about me. I'm very much a broken pot that just deserves hell. The fact that He would even consider using me, and my sinful family for anything great is and should always be beyond my understanding.
So considering that adoption is His idea and that as Christ followers we are called to help orphans it's really time to swallow my pride and just say it. We need money. Prayer mostly, but money as a close second. Let me say that I HATE HATE HATE asking for money. That's maybe why God has made us too "poor" to adopt. He knows our sinful hearts are full of pride. After all, you have to admit, it's really embarrassing asking for money. But there. I think I did it. We need money. Could you give us some? I say this in a pretty humorous way, maybe in some subconscious way to save face, but the truth is out. We just do. If you blog readers are our friends then I'll just tell ya flat out as if a friend had texts me and asked for an update. I'd say, we need around HIGH END $20,000 still to get Easton home. That includes our 4th payment to our agency, estimated round trip tickets for Jason and I, one way ticket for Mr. Easton, hotel, travel, and food while there. This is NOT including however many more months of foster care will be required and this is not including any supplies we may need to purchase before travel. (I'll post a practical list as the time gets closer to travel)
WHAT?!
Now do you understand our desperation? Now do you understand why I just really don't give rip if I offend anyone by asking for money anymore? Now do you understand why I can't afford to be proud?
I have NO IDEA how it's gonna happen. And with both dread and excitement I want to see how it does.
I guess I should update you on the whole travel thing. We've known for a while now that we have to travel there to get the kids. We've recently learned that BOTH parents are required to be there for certain appointments. We also know that the estimated in country stay time is 2-4 weeks. 2-4 weeks people! I'm totally going to flip having to leave Caedmon, Payton, and Reagan for that long. Makes me pretty sick to my stomach actually. So please please please just pray that everything works out. Pray that the stay is not long to get Easton and that Jason can stay the entire time especially for bonding issues. Right now the plan for when we go get baby Josephine would be that Jason would fly home after those appointments that he has to be at and that the baby and I would come home later once we get the exit approval. Josephine is not through court yet so unfortunately it will still be a while before she gets to join us. Oh and did I mention she will have to go through an investigation as well. More waiting.
So pray for Easton investigation to pass! Pray that God continues to provide for these adoptions! Pray for all the details of travel when the time comes.
Mr. Caedmon, now nine years old, continues to be a sweet encourager in hard times like today and he has it so right. It's just so simple to him. "Mom, it's just gonna be the way God wants it to be." He's SO right. Love that boy! What a truth speaker! Praise God for the children in my lives! He uses them daily to refine my thinking!
If you've made it this far and read this whole thing then how wonderful! You either really love us or you really love orphans. Either way I'm pretty grateful so THANK YOU!
July marked one year that we've been matched with our son and one year that he's been with his foster family waiting to come home. An entire year with a son we've never met.
On the 15th of the this month we reach FIVE months into the investigation. FIVE months of trying to figure out if little Mr is a true orphan.
And all this time we've still been paying a foster care fee every month.
Today brings me to a breaking point. Earlier today I asked our agency for an estimate of future payments and travel cost. What I got in response was enough to put a giant rock in my throat and knots in my stomach. These last several months of everyday waking up to no email from the embassy was depressing enough. Today, I have been pushed over my edge and I feel like I'm hanging on to strands. I think I know that it was still going to take a giant chunk of funds to finish up getting Easton home but actually seeing the numbers totally floored me. THEN I multiplied that by two, cause we will have to travel twice. Once to get Easton and once to get baby Josephine. More specifics in a minute.
So I'll admit that I've spent much of these months secluding myself from others, especially my peers, feeling that no one understands or assuming that everyone is sick of listening to my adoption woes. (we're coming up on THREE years since we decided to adopt.) I'm realizing that these are most likely lies from Satan and my own prideful issues. I know that Satan would totally love it if I would continue in my seclusion and depression, leaving me paralysed and ineffective to the gospel. Though gardening is a good hobby to have, plants unfortunately can not hug me and speak words of encouragement to me. I wish. I would love to be hugged by a zucchini... especially if it was fried. SO today in the garden I talked a lot to my best friend. The only one who knows my heart even when I can't express it. I also sucked it up and called on the phone a friend while I was sitting there picking green beans. It's been a long time since I had done that.
Tonight I am pretty discouraged. I'm deeply concerned for our children on the other side of the world. Even though they have not been given to me to care for yet, they have still been given to my heart. And though worry is not right, I do worry for them because I'm a woman and a mom... and a sinful human. I know that God loves them more then I ever will and that's what leaves me so confused about this long waiting. I know that God in control is a good thing and yet I know that those babies need families. Our family.
Lots of my deep pain comes out in some good old ugly crying in the shower. Tonight was one of those nights. I found myself angry! Just pain angry. Angry that adoption cost so much. Angry with the waiting. Angry with the ease of abortion compared to the difficulty of adoption. I found myself being so bold as to say to God, "Just do SOMETHING. Either say yes and move mountains or say no and stop the agonizing waiting." This brings me to the torturous thoughts I've been having all week. Would God bring us all this way just to say no? Would He? I really want to say no, but I can not be so proud. He could. I don't foresee that and I don't want Him to say no, but reality is that He has the power too. I've experienced both, He both gives and takes away. Oh, please don't take this away. This has created a righteous fear of Him, but I keep praying for faith that He cares about every detail of our lives even within His great power.
I keep being more and more humbled beyond comfort with how little I have to do with His plans and yet I call all this "our" journey, "our" adoptions. The truth is, it's His idea. His plans. It's His that He only invites us to be used as His instruments. Now more then ever as I wait and wait and wait, I'm seeing that it's not about me. I'm very much a broken pot that just deserves hell. The fact that He would even consider using me, and my sinful family for anything great is and should always be beyond my understanding.
So considering that adoption is His idea and that as Christ followers we are called to help orphans it's really time to swallow my pride and just say it. We need money. Prayer mostly, but money as a close second. Let me say that I HATE HATE HATE asking for money. That's maybe why God has made us too "poor" to adopt. He knows our sinful hearts are full of pride. After all, you have to admit, it's really embarrassing asking for money. But there. I think I did it. We need money. Could you give us some? I say this in a pretty humorous way, maybe in some subconscious way to save face, but the truth is out. We just do. If you blog readers are our friends then I'll just tell ya flat out as if a friend had texts me and asked for an update. I'd say, we need around HIGH END $20,000 still to get Easton home. That includes our 4th payment to our agency, estimated round trip tickets for Jason and I, one way ticket for Mr. Easton, hotel, travel, and food while there. This is NOT including however many more months of foster care will be required and this is not including any supplies we may need to purchase before travel. (I'll post a practical list as the time gets closer to travel)
WHAT?!
Now do you understand our desperation? Now do you understand why I just really don't give rip if I offend anyone by asking for money anymore? Now do you understand why I can't afford to be proud?
I have NO IDEA how it's gonna happen. And with both dread and excitement I want to see how it does.
I guess I should update you on the whole travel thing. We've known for a while now that we have to travel there to get the kids. We've recently learned that BOTH parents are required to be there for certain appointments. We also know that the estimated in country stay time is 2-4 weeks. 2-4 weeks people! I'm totally going to flip having to leave Caedmon, Payton, and Reagan for that long. Makes me pretty sick to my stomach actually. So please please please just pray that everything works out. Pray that the stay is not long to get Easton and that Jason can stay the entire time especially for bonding issues. Right now the plan for when we go get baby Josephine would be that Jason would fly home after those appointments that he has to be at and that the baby and I would come home later once we get the exit approval. Josephine is not through court yet so unfortunately it will still be a while before she gets to join us. Oh and did I mention she will have to go through an investigation as well. More waiting.
So pray for Easton investigation to pass! Pray that God continues to provide for these adoptions! Pray for all the details of travel when the time comes.
Mr. Caedmon, now nine years old, continues to be a sweet encourager in hard times like today and he has it so right. It's just so simple to him. "Mom, it's just gonna be the way God wants it to be." He's SO right. Love that boy! What a truth speaker! Praise God for the children in my lives! He uses them daily to refine my thinking!
If you've made it this far and read this whole thing then how wonderful! You either really love us or you really love orphans. Either way I'm pretty grateful so THANK YOU!
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Crock Pot Mexican... Something
I made a really easy and delicious crock pot dish tonight. Sometimes it's a good thing when we are low on groceries because it forces me to experiment. This was an experiment that went well!
Crock Pot Mexican... Something?
1 lb. ground turkey (shredded chicken would be really good too!)
2-3 large green peppers chopped
1 large onion chopped
1 can black beans drained and rinsed
1 can sweet corn drained
1 can diced tomatoes w/ juice
1 basket mushrooms sliced
2 Tbsp chopped garlic
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
1/2 tsp seasoning salt
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp chili powder
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 cup water
Put everything into the crock pot, even raw ground turkey broken into bite size pieces. Cook on low all day or high for 4 hours. Serve over brown rice. Topping options: shredded cheese, sour cream (plain greek yogurt in our house), fresh cilantro, diced avocado, or corn chips.
FYI, I'm kind of guessing on the seasoning amounts. I never measure when I'm cooking. Soooo....good luck with that part for all you by the book people out there. :)
Crock Pot Mexican... Something?
1 lb. ground turkey (shredded chicken would be really good too!)
2-3 large green peppers chopped
1 large onion chopped
1 can black beans drained and rinsed
1 can sweet corn drained
1 can diced tomatoes w/ juice
1 basket mushrooms sliced
2 Tbsp chopped garlic
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
1/2 tsp seasoning salt
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp chili powder
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 cup water
Put everything into the crock pot, even raw ground turkey broken into bite size pieces. Cook on low all day or high for 4 hours. Serve over brown rice. Topping options: shredded cheese, sour cream (plain greek yogurt in our house), fresh cilantro, diced avocado, or corn chips.
FYI, I'm kind of guessing on the seasoning amounts. I never measure when I'm cooking. Soooo....good luck with that part for all you by the book people out there. :)
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