ADOPTION UPDATE!

So most of you who are FB friends probably already know the good news we received Tuesday. Our son's investigation is complete!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the step that we were told should take 3-6 months.

It took eight.

Yes, I can hear you cheering! I have been cheering and praising God even though now I'm kinda freaking out and there are knots in my stomach. I went to donate, I mean sell, my plasma yesterday and my pulse was too high so I had to just sit for a little bit to see if it would slow down to normal. Thank you God! I just sat there with my eyes closed, took deep breaths, and prayed for God to calm me not only so I could donate, I mean sell, my plasma, but because I knew I needed to again surrender to God and rest in the peace He gives.  It's all fear of the unknown and the what ifs. I'm constantly asking God to calm my fears, to help me see the bigger picture, and give us strength to keep striving to obey. After all, our prayer has always been that no matter how hopeless the wait may feel that we would continue walking (or baby stepping) toward the goal until He shut the door completely. Yesterday the door cracked open a little more! We have a foot in the door instead of just a few of our long skinny white toes.

So what does investigation complete mean? This means that the Embassy has found that our son is in fact a true orphan and is able to be adopted. There is obviously more to our son's story but that will be protected out of respect to him and the hardships he has had to endure. That topic is another whole blog post though.

Investigation complete also means that he can now have his visa interview appointment which is scheduled for November 27th. Once his visa is issued we COULD be traveling to Africa soon after. As of right now we are GUESSING that we would travel mid December.

The fear about the trip that creeps in is that we really don't know what will happen once we get there and how long we will be there. I think in my last post I told you about how the country has stopping issuing exit letters with the exception that if you have certain document before a certain date. We have that document but that doesn't mean it will be smooth sailing. We are hearing of some families that have only had to be there a few weeks but others up to 6+ weeks and some having to return home without their children. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it, so traveling will be yet another giant step in faith! Either way, we will get to meet our children and that is exciting stuff!

Our daughter's paperwork is still not done but we are assuming that we will get to meet her, maybe even have her with us, while we are in country! We will know more about that later. I feel so sick thinking about leaving her behind.

No matter how long the trip, I kinda feel like puking when I think about leaving our bio kids for that long. I think the longest I've ever been away from our kids was like four nights...maybe. Jason is the pro at being away from home so I'm so thankful we will be together! It won't be an easy trip and missing the kids will make it even harder, not to mention that when we return our family will be totally different. I keep asking God to give me peace and help we see it all in the big picture. The amount of time away is a very small time when compared to our family's life span. It also helps knowing that our bio kids will be in VERY good hands with Jason's parents and I'm so grateful for facetime and skype!

Soooooo.... what now? Well now I guess we start gathering together things we will need for our trip. The more prepared we can get now the less stressed we will feel right before leaving.... I hope. We will know more details after we have a phone conference with our agency on December 3. What we take will also depend on where we stay. Where we stay will depend on how much money we have and what is available at the time of travel. Some of you have asked how you can help with practical needs. I will try to post a list soon for those that want to help in that way.

We are also still in need of funds for the cost of the trip. Being in the country is expensive with the flights and high cost of hotel/apartment and food. If you are interested in helping in the area of giving funds, here is a great place to do it tax deducible!

https://www.adopttogether.org/crawfords

Thank you everyone for the continued support through prayers, gifts, and your encouragement! Please keep praying!

Adoption Update

For a long time now I've thought about doing an adoption update. Unfortunately this is still not a whole lot to update as far as moving forward. If you've been following our journey then you know that our son is stuck in a 3-6 month investigation along with every other orphan being adopted from the same country. This is good considering that the whole point of the investigation is to gain knowledge of true orphan status, however, it is extremely difficult for the adopting family and the child waiting to come home.

July marked one year that we've been matched with our son and one year that he's been with his foster family waiting to come home. An entire year with a son we've never met.

On the 15th of the this month we reach FIVE months into the investigation. FIVE months of trying to figure out if little Mr is a true orphan.

And all this time we've still been paying a foster care fee every month.

Today brings me to a breaking point. Earlier today I asked our agency for an estimate of future payments and travel cost. What I got in response was enough to put a giant rock in my throat and knots in my stomach. These last several months of everyday waking up to no email from the embassy was depressing enough. Today, I have been pushed over my edge and I feel like I'm hanging on to strands. I think I know that it was still going to take a giant chunk of funds to finish up getting Easton home but actually seeing the numbers totally floored me. THEN I multiplied that by two, cause we will have to travel twice. Once to get Easton and once to get baby Josephine. More specifics in a minute.

So I'll admit that I've spent much of these months secluding myself from others, especially my peers, feeling that no one understands or assuming that everyone is sick of listening to my adoption woes. (we're coming up on THREE years since we decided to adopt.) I'm realizing that these are most likely lies from Satan and my own prideful issues. I know that Satan would totally love it if I would continue in my seclusion and depression, leaving me paralysed and ineffective to the gospel.  Though gardening is a good hobby to have, plants unfortunately can not hug me and speak words of encouragement to me. I wish. I would love to be hugged by a zucchini... especially if it was fried. SO today in the garden I talked a lot to my best friend. The only one who knows my heart even when I can't express it. I also sucked it up and called on the phone a friend while I was sitting there picking green beans. It's been a long time since I had done that.

Tonight I am pretty discouraged. I'm deeply concerned for our children on the other side of the world. Even though they have not been given to me to care for yet, they have still been given to my heart. And though worry is not right, I do worry for them because I'm a woman and a mom... and  a sinful human. I know that God loves them more then I ever will and that's what leaves me so confused about this long waiting. I know that God in control is a good thing and yet I know that those babies need families. Our family.

Lots of my deep pain comes out in some good old ugly crying in the shower. Tonight was one of those nights. I found myself angry! Just pain angry. Angry that adoption cost so much. Angry with the waiting. Angry with the ease of abortion compared to the difficulty of adoption. I found myself being so bold as to say to God, "Just do SOMETHING. Either say yes and move mountains or say no and stop the agonizing waiting." This brings me to the torturous thoughts I've been having all week. Would God bring us all this way just to say no? Would He? I really want to say no, but I can not be so proud. He could. I don't foresee that and I don't want Him to say no, but reality is that He has the power too. I've experienced both, He both gives and takes away. Oh, please don't take this away. This has created a righteous fear of Him, but I keep praying for faith that He cares about every detail of our lives even within His great power.

I keep being more and more humbled beyond comfort with how little I have to do with His plans and yet I call all this "our" journey, "our" adoptions. The truth is, it's His idea. His plans. It's His that He only invites us to be used as His instruments. Now more then ever as I wait and wait and wait, I'm seeing that it's not about me. I'm very much a broken pot that just deserves hell. The fact that He would even consider using me, and my sinful family for anything great is and should always be beyond my understanding.

So considering that adoption is His idea and that as Christ followers we are called to help orphans it's really time to swallow my pride and just say it. We need money. Prayer mostly, but money as a close second. Let me say that I HATE HATE HATE asking for money. That's maybe why God has made us too "poor" to adopt. He knows our sinful hearts are full of pride. After all, you have to admit, it's really embarrassing asking for money. But there. I think I did it. We need money. Could you give us some? I say this in a pretty humorous way, maybe in some subconscious way to save face, but the truth is out. We just do. If you blog readers are our friends then I'll just tell ya flat out as if a friend had texts me and asked for an update. I'd say, we need around HIGH END $20,000 still to get Easton home. That includes our 4th payment to our agency, estimated round trip tickets for Jason and I, one way ticket for Mr. Easton, hotel, travel, and food while there. This is NOT including however many more months of foster care will be required and this is not including any supplies we may need to purchase before travel. (I'll post a practical list as the time gets closer to travel)

WHAT?!

Now do you understand our desperation? Now do you understand why I just really don't give rip if I offend anyone by asking for money anymore? Now do you understand why I can't afford to be proud?

I have NO IDEA how it's gonna happen. And with both dread and excitement I want to see how it does.

I guess I should update you on the whole travel thing. We've known for a while now that we have to travel there to get the kids. We've recently learned that BOTH parents are required to be there for certain appointments. We also know that the estimated in country stay time is 2-4 weeks. 2-4 weeks people! I'm totally going to flip having to leave Caedmon, Payton, and Reagan for that long. Makes me pretty sick to my stomach actually. So please please please just pray that everything works out. Pray that the stay is not long to get Easton and that Jason can stay the entire time especially for bonding issues. Right now the plan for when we go get baby Josephine would be that Jason would fly home after those appointments that he has to be at and that the baby and I would come home later once we get the exit approval. Josephine is not through court yet so unfortunately it will still be a while before she gets to join us. Oh and did I mention she will have to go through an investigation as well. More waiting.

So pray for Easton investigation to pass! Pray that God continues to provide for these adoptions! Pray for all the details of travel when the time comes. 

Mr. Caedmon, now nine years old, continues to be a sweet encourager in hard times like today and he has it so right. It's just so simple to him. "Mom, it's just gonna be the way God wants it to be." He's SO right. Love that boy! What a truth speaker! Praise God for the children in my lives! He uses them daily to refine my thinking!

If you've made it this far and read this whole thing then how wonderful! You either really love us or you really love orphans. Either way I'm pretty grateful so THANK YOU!

Adoption update!

Good news! The issues with our I600A have finally been cleared up and we have been approved to continue on in adopting TWO kiddos! Yay! Praise the Lord!

This morning I was praying that the letter would come today and it did! God is so good! Now I need to translate the letter into dumb people English so that I know what to do next! I might have to recruit a follow adopting mom to help me so that I don't freak out! :)

I know one thing for sure, we have a TON of money to raise! It seems like a task that will never come to completion but I know that God is in control of all things and he will decide how fast or IF it will come in or not. We have been so blessed and in awe at how he has moved the hearts of our brothers and sisters! We have been shocked at where the money has come from so far!

Speaking of raising money, Friday night's CD release party for Lullabies for Africa went great! Thanks to Haleigh for including us in the CD and the party! What a very special time! If you couldn't come to the release party but are interested in purchasing a CD or some handmade goods then check out Lullabies for Africa or come into Alpha Copies where some of the merchandise will be on sale along with Bethe8's Afriheart shirt! We're setting it up tonight!

Also keep in eye out for more merchandise to be coming to Beth8 in the future! Fun handmade creations re-purposed out to wool ... and vintage buttons of course! LOVE!

Lullaby Love

My friend, Haleigh, is recording a lullaby CD to sell as a fundraiser for her mission trip to Africa. I am blessed to be a part of it! I wrote some lyrics for a few of the songs and Payton and I even got to sing on one of them! Special stuff! I'm so excited for Haleigh, her trip, and the Lullabies for Africa CD. I will for sure post information about how you can get one when they are released!

Catching up. Slowly.

Things have been SO busy around here that I am so behind on sharing pictures of the kids. So this post will hopefully be my catch up on just some of the snap shots of my sweet buttercups.  More to come. Haven't even dumped most of June's pictures off the camera yet.

Enjoying the weather and eating outside.

Sporting Bethe8!

Lots of playing in the water.

Be the 8

Here it is everybody! It brings me great joy and excitement to be sharing this new website . . . or what's there so far, with YOU. Hopefully in the weeks to come more info will be posted AND you'll learn how to get a totally awesome Africaheart t-shirt!!! Make sure you enter your email so that you can be notified when the site is up and running and when t-shirts are ready!
 bethe8.org
bethe8 is also on Facebook so go on and LIKE it at Be the 8.

THIS is what it's about. This is POWERFUL and this is WHY we are adopting. There should be this same urgency on all our hearts! Watch the whole thing and grab your tissues! 

thevintagepearl.com

I've been forgetting for a long time to blog about my new necklace that my dear friend, Caitlin, got for me! Then today my follow adopting mom, Lisa, sent out a message about it that made me remember. So here are a few pictures! I love it!

Here's were you can get yours! https://www.thevintagepearl.com/products/aheartforAfrica_p116

The True Size of Africa

Check this out. Jason found this and sent it to me. CRAZY! You don't feel so big anymore America, do you?

The True Size of Africa