Let's just get real with it.

It's time to get real. I'm struggling today. I'm having to constantly release my grip and hand everything back to God. In my brain, I know everything will turn out as God has planned and whatever He has planned is right and good. But my heart is having a hard time keeping in step with my brain.


Here's the reality and unknowns of the next several months.

-We're waiting for Mr. Easton to come home soon, however, we don't know when that will be and every month longer there is extra foster care cost from now until he comes home.
-There is another large payment coming up. Then there are travel cost for the escort and children.
-For the first time ever we have to pay taxes and do not get a refund. It's a big amount and we were so hoping to be able to put a refund toward our adoption fund or a reliable van.
-We need a reliable van.
-We are still waiting to hear back about our new referral for baby girl #2. If we do not accept the new referral= broken, broken, broken hearts + thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars basically down the drain.
-If we do accept referral for baby girl #2, we have no idea how long the wait will be and how much the cost will be. Hoping to hear more soon.

I just want to keep trusting in God that everything will be okay and not become bitter or angry if things turn out different then we thought. This is a huge struggle and I really just want to live righteously through it.  I'm getting real. There you have it. I hate to talk about the material cost of adoption, but it's a giant part of it so lets just get real with it.