Today we received a new referral for a girl! She is adorable and we were surprised to find out that she is only 6 DAYS OLD! Surprised but thrilled! We were always obviously okay with having a baby but just didn't think that we would end up with a baby. By the time she arrives home she will be several months older but still very much a baby. Never thought we'd be in baby land again but we are excited. We even got rid of all of our baby stuff. Ha! God has a sense of humor and loves to keep us on our toes.
The kids are excited too though already have said they are not changing poopie diapers. Reagan has all kind of silly names for her. She saw a picture of of the baby drinking a bottle and said " I like the one with milk. If she drinks milk, we should call her Milk. And if she has a snotty nose, we should call her Snotty. " Thanks for the suggestions Reagan but we'll pass on them.
God is also answering many prayers regarding some of the foster care cost for her. Not sure of details yet though. There's still a lot to figure out between paperwork, timing, and cost, but it will work out.
Mr Easton will be home much earlier then baby sister. Things are still moving forward with him and we are really hoping for late spring, early summer but really just don't know. Maybe it's a really good thing that we will have some time between his arrival and baby sister's arrival.
There is still a huge spot in my heart for Miss Madelyn though I am trusting that God knows best. I'm rejoicing for her and her birth father and still praying for them. We may never understand why she was put in our hearts, but God has a reason. Even if it was to keep her fed and sheltered for the five months in foster care then technically it wasn't "down the drain" as I said before. God knows. I don't. That's okay with me.
Keep praying for everything to fall into place and praise God for every step He's taken us through! Both the heartbreaking and the exciting! Thank you for everyone who has lifted us up in prayer this last week and a half!
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
Let's just get real with it.
It's time to get real. I'm struggling today. I'm having to constantly release my grip and hand everything back to God. In my brain, I know everything will turn out as God has planned and
whatever He has planned is right and good. But my heart is having a hard
time keeping in step with my brain.
Here's the reality and unknowns of the next several months.
-We're waiting for Mr. Easton to come home soon, however, we don't know when that will be and every month longer there is extra foster care cost from now until he comes home.
-There is another large payment coming up. Then there are travel cost for the escort and children.
-For the first time ever we have to pay taxes and do not get a refund. It's a big amount and we were so hoping to be able to put a refund toward our adoption fund or a reliable van.
-We need a reliable van.
-We are still waiting to hear back about our new referral for baby girl #2. If we do not accept the new referral= broken, broken, broken hearts + thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars basically down the drain.
-If we do accept referral for baby girl #2, we have no idea how long the wait will be and how much the cost will be. Hoping to hear more soon.
I just want to keep trusting in God that everything will be okay and not become bitter or angry if things turn out different then we thought. This is a huge struggle and I really just want to live righteously through it. I'm getting real. There you have it. I hate to talk about the material cost of adoption, but it's a giant part of it so lets just get real with it.
Here's the reality and unknowns of the next several months.
-We're waiting for Mr. Easton to come home soon, however, we don't know when that will be and every month longer there is extra foster care cost from now until he comes home.
-There is another large payment coming up. Then there are travel cost for the escort and children.
-For the first time ever we have to pay taxes and do not get a refund. It's a big amount and we were so hoping to be able to put a refund toward our adoption fund or a reliable van.
-We need a reliable van.
-We are still waiting to hear back about our new referral for baby girl #2. If we do not accept the new referral= broken, broken, broken hearts + thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars basically down the drain.
-If we do accept referral for baby girl #2, we have no idea how long the wait will be and how much the cost will be. Hoping to hear more soon.
I just want to keep trusting in God that everything will be okay and not become bitter or angry if things turn out different then we thought. This is a huge struggle and I really just want to live righteously through it. I'm getting real. There you have it. I hate to talk about the material cost of adoption, but it's a giant part of it so lets just get real with it.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Adoption update
By now many of you have probably seen some of my Facebook statuses from this last week, but for those of you who have not here's an update on our adoptions.
On Saturday morning we received a phone call from our agency informing us that our daughter's birth father requested her back. We do not really know much more details about how this came about but we are pretty heartbroken. The country we are adopting from always gives rights to birth parents over adopting parents and so back to her father she will go.
I can't really even explain the feelings that have been rushing through us in the days since. For me personally, the best way to explain the pain is something much harder then having a miscarriage. This is not at all to minimize the pain of a miscarriage. Trust me, I know that pain as well and it is great, but this has hurt so much more. I think because, though we had not yet met her, she was this little person actually in pictures. We named her and had things specifically for her and could actually put a sweet little face with our thoughts of her.
The only aspect of the loss that seems better compared to our miscarriage is that I believe we are more mature in our faith now. Though I think we handled the miscarriage in a God honoring way, my thoughts with this loss are much more glorifying to God in a way that embraces the grief and captures thoughts that Satan feeds. Through every loss in life we have a chance to respond in bitterness toward God or in humbleness before Him. He gives and takes away as He sees fit and that's a good thing. At times it may not FEEL that He is good, but we are to KNOW that He is good. I don't believe that God would have us not grieve, but grieving within submission to Him is entirely different then grieving in a fight against Him. There was a short time that I wanted to be angry and shake my fist at God, but our wise son said simply, " Mom, this is what God wants." And he's right.
I would never compare this pain to the loss of a child that had actually been given to me or to the pain of losing my mom to cancer. This is different. It even feels strange. At times it's as if I have no business being so heartbroken cause she was never really my child....but she was sort of. It's strange that the agency already has another little girl that they would like us to consider. In some sense it's like little Madelyn is just "replaceable." I can think like that, or I can open my eyes to the reality that that's just how GREAT THE NEED REALLY IS. There are so many children out there needing homes. Like our home study provider said, "There will always be children." And he's right. Unfortunately, there will always be children needing homes. In some ways, I should be joyful that Madelyn's father came forward. Hopefully he will be a good papa to her and now we can be used for a child that actually has no parents. All we can do is trust that God knows and loves our children more then we ever could.
It was also brought to our attention that because Madelyn is in our hearts, she's also in the hearts of everyone who supports us and therefore has a pretty huge amount of people praying for her. Prayers that would never have been prayed on her behalf had she never been matched with us in the first place. So that's pretty cool.
So now we wait to see if we will be matched up with this other little girl. If we are it sounds like her case would be put on the fast track. Not sure if she would be able to come home when Mr. Easton would or not. We just don't know a whole lot at this point.
Lots of you have asked how you can pray:
-Pray that Madelyn would be going back to a good situation and that her transition would go well. We will never know in this lifetime how her life turns out. Ask for peace in that.
-Pray for Easton as he's still waiting to come home. He must be so confused right now as Madelyn spent 5+ months with him in foster care and now she is somewhere else.
-Pray for our family to continue to heal and trust God. Pray that the rest of this long adoption process would go smoothly and quickly.
-Pray for the little girl that might be matched with us. That God would place her with us if that's what He wants and if she is, that He would begin to prepare her heart for the changes ahead.
-Most of all pray that God would be glorified no matter what the outcome.
Hoping to have a new update for you in the next few days!
On Saturday morning we received a phone call from our agency informing us that our daughter's birth father requested her back. We do not really know much more details about how this came about but we are pretty heartbroken. The country we are adopting from always gives rights to birth parents over adopting parents and so back to her father she will go.
I can't really even explain the feelings that have been rushing through us in the days since. For me personally, the best way to explain the pain is something much harder then having a miscarriage. This is not at all to minimize the pain of a miscarriage. Trust me, I know that pain as well and it is great, but this has hurt so much more. I think because, though we had not yet met her, she was this little person actually in pictures. We named her and had things specifically for her and could actually put a sweet little face with our thoughts of her.
The only aspect of the loss that seems better compared to our miscarriage is that I believe we are more mature in our faith now. Though I think we handled the miscarriage in a God honoring way, my thoughts with this loss are much more glorifying to God in a way that embraces the grief and captures thoughts that Satan feeds. Through every loss in life we have a chance to respond in bitterness toward God or in humbleness before Him. He gives and takes away as He sees fit and that's a good thing. At times it may not FEEL that He is good, but we are to KNOW that He is good. I don't believe that God would have us not grieve, but grieving within submission to Him is entirely different then grieving in a fight against Him. There was a short time that I wanted to be angry and shake my fist at God, but our wise son said simply, " Mom, this is what God wants." And he's right.
I would never compare this pain to the loss of a child that had actually been given to me or to the pain of losing my mom to cancer. This is different. It even feels strange. At times it's as if I have no business being so heartbroken cause she was never really my child....but she was sort of. It's strange that the agency already has another little girl that they would like us to consider. In some sense it's like little Madelyn is just "replaceable." I can think like that, or I can open my eyes to the reality that that's just how GREAT THE NEED REALLY IS. There are so many children out there needing homes. Like our home study provider said, "There will always be children." And he's right. Unfortunately, there will always be children needing homes. In some ways, I should be joyful that Madelyn's father came forward. Hopefully he will be a good papa to her and now we can be used for a child that actually has no parents. All we can do is trust that God knows and loves our children more then we ever could.
It was also brought to our attention that because Madelyn is in our hearts, she's also in the hearts of everyone who supports us and therefore has a pretty huge amount of people praying for her. Prayers that would never have been prayed on her behalf had she never been matched with us in the first place. So that's pretty cool.
So now we wait to see if we will be matched up with this other little girl. If we are it sounds like her case would be put on the fast track. Not sure if she would be able to come home when Mr. Easton would or not. We just don't know a whole lot at this point.
Lots of you have asked how you can pray:
-Pray that Madelyn would be going back to a good situation and that her transition would go well. We will never know in this lifetime how her life turns out. Ask for peace in that.
-Pray for Easton as he's still waiting to come home. He must be so confused right now as Madelyn spent 5+ months with him in foster care and now she is somewhere else.
-Pray for our family to continue to heal and trust God. Pray that the rest of this long adoption process would go smoothly and quickly.
-Pray for the little girl that might be matched with us. That God would place her with us if that's what He wants and if she is, that He would begin to prepare her heart for the changes ahead.
-Most of all pray that God would be glorified no matter what the outcome.
Hoping to have a new update for you in the next few days!
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Janurary snowmen and random Feburary
Each of the kids made their own snowman...with a little help.
Reagan thought it was so funny when she found the cat taking a nap in the baby doll crib.
I think someone is a little confused about how to wear bike helmets.
Been making lots of tents.
Payton lost her first tooth. I actually got to pull it out for her!
Caedmon playing "dress up."
Sledding down our front yard.
And what sledding experience would be complete without someone crying?
On the pot talking to her fresh out of the bath Barbies, "Stop looking at me going poop guys."
Reagan thought it was so funny when she found the cat taking a nap in the baby doll crib.
I think someone is a little confused about how to wear bike helmets.
Been making lots of tents.
Payton lost her first tooth. I actually got to pull it out for her!
Caedmon playing "dress up."
Sledding down our front yard.
And what sledding experience would be complete without someone crying?
On the pot talking to her fresh out of the bath Barbies, "Stop looking at me going poop guys."
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