Well, here we wait.
As you know by now we did not travel to Africa mid December to get Easton. The current status is that we have EVERYTHING we need for him, including his visa, to come home except ONE paper. The exit letter that says he can walk through the airport with us to head home. Currently the country is not issuing those letters. I won't go into how we and many other families feel about that. Possibly insert some curse words here, followed by crying, some numbness, and pleading with God and that might give you a tiny idea. Right now I just can't even express to you how horrible it is to finally be "at the end" after three years and now to just have our kids wait more.
I know in my brain that God knows what He is doing and that it is good. My heart is lagging behind at a snail pace and I'm certain that the only time it will catch up is when we are on a plane headed home with our kids. I am determined though, to still seek and find what God would want for us to continue to learn as we continue to wait. Not to waste these days in sorrow and worry but to thrive because we see a bit more of God and His abilities to carry our hearts which lag behind our brains.
There are rumors about when these forsaken letters may be issued but no one really knows for sure and we've all learned not to believe a single rumor until we see it with our own glazed over eyeballs.
From my small view the only good thing about this wait is that as our son waits, our daughter's court documents are almost done. Possibly, IF her paperwork catches up and IF her investigation goes quickly MAYBE she would be able to come home when he does. The idea of separating them even for a short while makes me pretty sick to my stomach now that I see them looking more and more like brother and sister in pictures. Those are some huge IFs and MAYBEs, but you just never know what could happen.
In the meantime our kids wait and we wait and every month of waiting cost over a thousand dollars in foster care cost. To say I'm frustrated is the biggest understatement of the year. Though in my frustration there is peace. Somehow. Well, it's either peace or numbness or I'm just flat out delusional. We have had some wonderful people give money to keep things going. We've been greatly humbled by some recent gifts. But yeah, in all honesty, I'm so frustrated that that money is going towards foster care payments instead of plane tickets. I need to remember that the money is God's. We decided a long time ago that if there was money in the adoption fund that we would obediently pay the next thing needed to keep it going and that's what we continue to do whether it's another month of foster care or a plane ticket.
Please keep praying.
