"The Acid Test of Love"

I'm just like my daughter. A stinkin' little sinner.
Until Caedmon began walking to school on his own in the mornings, the girls and I would also bundle up and walk with him assuring his safe arrival. I've always enjoyed walking Caedmon to school. It's been our special time to sing "This is the day that the Lord has made . . . " or "Rise and shine and give God the glory glory . . . " or to just talk about life and how to handle different situations going on. Recently though, walking to school has not been so fun. My oldest daughter has made it difficult to enjoy the morning walk as the focus has been completely saturated on herself. EVERY morning something was just all wrong for her. Most of the time it was, " I'm SO cold! " or " I'm itchy! " or tripping a few times, or not staying on the sidewalk like she had been told. All resulting in giant, pathetic, and hysterical tears. Every morning walking out the door was a pep talk from mom. " Hey Payton, lets walk like a big girl to school today. Ok?" She would assure me that she would do her job with no problems, but often failed.
I am so much like my daughter in this way with my relationship with God. Everyday I have a chance to come to him for a pep talk before beginning my walk in life that day. A lot of days I don't apply the preparation He gives or easily forget what He's already taught me. Without consciously choosing to obey and do what's right, I tend to easily stray off His sidewalk, tripping or complaining all the way about my uncomfortable circumstances, resulting is tears, only to realize I should have studied and obeyed the Wise One. It's also caused me to seek the approval of others, rather then striving the please the Lord. Not good.
The last few weeks I have experienced some real lows in my heart. The reason I'm sure has completely and totally been because I have not been reading God's word and daily walking with Him. It put me back into my old ways. The grouchy, anxious, very worrisome, and selfish mom and wife reappeared her ugly face making home life not so peaceful and God honoring.  So I'm going back to the Bible and back to the chapter on Obedience in my "Seeking Him" book that we went through in women's Thursday morning Bible study from this last semester. This was THE chapter (along with others) that really put me in my place. The chapter is called, "Obedience: The Acid Test of Love." It's chucked full of hard to hear goodness! It talks of obedience to the Word being the foundation of the Christian life. No obedience to God, no foundation. How the measuring of our love for God is to examine whether or not we obey Him. So, I say I love Him, but do I always obey Him? No. And when I do obey Him is it always with a joyful heart. No.
Obedience is hard. Especially when what you are being led to do is uncomfortable and there's fear of the unknown. Obedience to pursue adoption is good and at many times exciting and joy giving, but also fearful for us when we don't see the whole picture like God does. It's such a step out in faith and we have to daily choose to continue to take the next step so that God can show us what He can do.  Who He will touch. What He will provide . . .
The beauty of obedience to God- " God does not stand by at a distance, demanding our obedience. Rather,  He blesses us by allowing us to be a part of accomplishing His purposes. He calls us to SURRENDER, invites us to follow, EMPOWERS us to serve, and then blesses our obedience. " Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
"God is God. Because He is God, HE IS WORTHY of my trust and obedience. I will find rest NOWHERE but in His holy will that is unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to." Elisabeth Elliot.
"Happy is the soul which . . . holds itself ceaselessly in the hands of its Creator, ready to do everything which He wishes; which never stops saying to itself a hundred times a day, 'Lord, what would you have me to do?" Francios Fenelon.

Psalm 19: 7-11
 ⁷ The law of the LORD is PERFECT,
   refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are TRUSTWORTHY,
   making wise the simple.
⁸ The precepts of the LORD are RIGHT,
   giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are RADIANT,
   giving light to the eyes.
⁹ The fear of the LORD is PURE,
   enduring forever.
The decrees of the LORD are FIRM,
   and all of them are righteous.
 ¹⁰ They are more precious than gold,
   than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
   than honey from the honeycomb.
¹¹ By them your servant is warned;
   in keeping them there is great reward.

Hopefully a Christmas post to follow . . . when I have time! :)

God is GOOOOOOOOD!

God is good! Because of the generosity of some pretty great people we now have enough to make our first payment to our agency (which will make us official clients!) AND we will also have enough to pay our home study cost! Praise God!

 Now on to the paperwork! Oy! And on to the next chunk of money needed! ;)